Monday, August 27, 2012

The Lost Song

There are times in your life when someone enters it and changes it forever. You don't know whether its for good or bad, whether its right or simply don't care. And yet boundaries exist, lines are drawn and limitations are marked. This poem is an ode to those emotions which have no name and yet they exist and live with you, probably forever.This is a story of a confused boy and a lovestruck girl, their friendship, their emotions which they could never understand, their expressions of their own feelings and the guilt attached with it, their understanding of the limitations of life and their own journey of it.
I request you the read the poem and feel it for your stories too may be a part of it. Each para of the poem will bring you the feelings of the boy and the girl one after another (the feelings of the girl are in italics for clarity), the way they felt it in their lives, till the last stanza where they speak together, probably for good. Friends, these words are special to me and I hope they can mean the same to you.



A friend was she till I last knew her,
Little bit of her caught in herself, a little left to fly;
A subdued smile like the silent waves, and that kohl dipped eyes that look deep inside,
That’s all my tired mind could recollect when she crosses my mind.
A friend was he till I last knew him,
Sometimes more than it, sometimes pretty less;
Arrogant, stupid, loveable and everything was he that I can call him,
Yes, he was a stranger and yet he was mine.
I never knew what feelings were; probably I never cared much,
I didn’t knew she existed; for I had a different world,
Years rolled by like the sands of time, and memories washed away;
The picture of hers and that subtle smile.
My life took its tentative steps with him far behind,
He lived in a small corner of me where he was too difficult to find,
I walked my life with a partner in hand,
For he could have been the man of my dreams, never the one to share my life.
I was a calm sea till I met a storm,
She crossed my solitary life giving the lyrics to my song,
We talked, we laughed, and we remembered the old days we left behind,
And I probably wished if things were different, and then just let it go with a disguised smile.
I don’t know why the roads of my life led me back to him,
Was he my destination or just the desire that would remain deep within?
I was happy within the four walls of my small world till he set me free,
The bird with the clipped wings once again wished to flutter with the wind.
The longing in her voice made me a restless soul,
Caught is a web of love and friendship, I didn’t know where I had to go,
Was it love or just a wild gush of wind that had brought us closer today?
Till it decides to stop and blow in a different direction, where we would be friends no more.
I don’t know why I let my feelings flow after living the secret for the years forgone,
Was it right or was it wrong or did the question never mattered at all?
He had his love and so did I, and yet those unknown feelings crashed at my door,
Are we friends, may be more than it or just nothing at all?
I don’t know if I fell for her; I don’t understand love anymore,
I don’t know why it hurts when she cries; I can’t even read the emotions I have hidden deep inside,
Sometimes I think about the world and it seems so wrong and sometimes about us when it’s all right,
I knew I was running away from something, and yet I didn’t want to stop and decide.
I don’t know whom I had hurt more, and I don’t know whom I have cheated,
Was it my reality or my dreams or was it just me all the way,
I sobbed, I cried and I devoured my happiness in the fight,
But neither my reality took me in his arms, and nor my dreams was there within my sight.
One fine day we decided not to talk anymore,
Some feelings have no names, and we probably realised they are not worth dying for,
A friend was her till I last knew her, will be the name of the song;
A friend was him till I last knew him, will be the end of the song.




Mithil said...

'Sometimes I think about the world and it seems so wrong and sometimes about us when it’s all right.'
Totally blown ...amazing writing .. real emotions

mamta said...

More than your thoughts and riddles of words it is more of your emotions you are fighting with. It is hard to find caring one in life who mean you and understand every thing that belongs to you. You must not let them go because of any ego or confusion, if there is no society and family bars let them know how much they mean in your life.How much you want them in life to make it more lively.

Both feelings(A lovestruck girl and Confused boy) Belongs to you.Girl is your inner soul that tells you what exactly you are feeling inside. And boy is confused because of outer world who do not want to accept the truth that his life is meant for someone else too. He is trying to run away with his own emotions to give it the name of relation and friendship.But if you find a person who understand all your pains, interests and even sit calmly with you in silence. You do not need to give up any relation for any thing specially confusion.

It was superb and fantastic one with all real emotions of your Basu!
Keep it up.

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