lonely yet again

well it was quite a break from life.......from words...............from me...........but den hw far can d loner stay away from his loneliness......so here i'm back writing to myself yet again.......
Wen lyf turns old, tomorrow seems yesterday & u search ur past for a moment to bring a smile in ur face......yes my friend u are lonely........a thirst that my last two vodka shots can't quench........d tears dry up with the smoke of my half lit cigarette....my vision gets fuzzy.......n yet I scribble down my scrambled thoughts just to c if it really makes some sense. Money, Love , friendship, fame......I had got dem all n I hv lost them all & with 25 years of my lyf washed away lyk d sand dunes in a beach well I donno what I really want out o this dingy lyf......n yet again d line goes..."I'M CONFUSED". But this isn't d place where the ME vents out his drunken frustation.....this is d place where d pied piper sings.....so I leave ME with him to c what he has for me tonyt....

"UNFOLDING PAGES OF MY LIFE"

- SAPTADEEP BASU (2002)

SITTING BESIDE THE WINDOW PANE,

AS I SAW THE RAIN FALL AGAIN;

MADE ME REMEMBER SOMETHING,

THAT IN MY MIND IS STILL LINGERING.

THOSE DAYS OF MY CHILDHOOD,

WHEN I USED TO HAVE MILK AS MY FOOD;

ENJOYING MYSELF AS I WISHED,

WITH NO SERIOUS THOUGHTS TO TROUBLE ME.

THEN CAME MY YOUTH,

WITH COLOURS AS BEAUTIFUL AS TUNES FROM A FLUTE;

JUST LIKE THE SPRING OF ONES LIFE,

IT SHOWED ME WHAT LIBERTY IS LIKE.

BUT SOON MY DREAMS WERE SHATTERED WITH THE GLIMPSE OF REALITY,

WHERE MONEY COUNTS MORE THAN MAN'S HONESTY;

AND I TOO LOST MYSELF IN THIS RUN FOR MONEY,

BUT GOT UNHAPPY EVEN WITH THIS HONEY.

YEARS ROLLED BY,

AND SO ROLLED BY MY VICES & CRIMES;

AND WHEN I LOOKED BACK,

THERE WAS NO WAY TO RETREAT.

I WAS JUST LIKE A VICTORIOUS SOLDIER IN A BATTLEFIELD,

WHO WON EVERYTHING YET LOST SOMETHING;

THAT WERE HIS DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS,

WHICH HE KILLED IN THE BRUTAL FIRING OF HIS GUN.

SUDDENLY THE RAIN STOPPED,

AND SO STOPPED MY DREAM;

LEAVING THE LAST PAGES OF MY LIFE BLANK,

FOR GOD TO WRITE THE FINAL THING.

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